


The Song of Ice and Cheers

by orphan_account



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Cute, Developing Relationship, Drabbles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Grand Prix Final, Hurt No Comfort, I Love My Babies, M/M, More tags to be added, Panic Attacks, Pining, and some steaminess, binge eating, but its really complicated, but no smut, don't hate me please, episode 10 feels, i do have social anxiety, kiss, my poor baby katsudon, please feel free to sue me for my ignorance, possibly some angst, pure fluff, sorry - Freeform, sorry but I aint old enough, ugh no plot whatsoever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-09
Packaged: 2018-09-06 22:58:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8772724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Yuri was always anxious.It was annoying and unfounded, sure, but that didn't make it less prominent. It also didn't help that he had what people called a 'glass heart'.So he cried. And ate. And worried.He was drowning in it, drowning in self-doubt, hating that he couldn't just buck up and swim, hating that he felt so alone.Then Viktor came into his life with hugs and smiles that melted those thoughts away.------------Series of drabbles mostly based about Yuuri's anxiety, but in reality it's just an excuse to write Victuuri trash. The timeline is crap, the plot is crap, EVERYTHING IS CRAP





	1. On the moment before performing

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my compadres! I am Alina, a very green writer that has no skill whatsoever, but oopsies! :P 
> 
> I ain't good with plot, so drabbles will have to do. Enjoy, my pretties! *crawls under bed to regret decisions*
> 
> \--- 
> 
> This particular drabble is like a scene during the Grand Prix Finals and Yuuri's just strolling around in order to get out and just breathe but then he overhears two girls or what not talking trash about how bad he is at skating and how he doesn't deserve Victor and it really gets to him for some reason, so he just
> 
> sits down and starts thinking on how much he isn't good enough.
> 
> Sure enough Viktor comes along looking for him cause he's worried for his little katsudon and he sees Yuuri breaking down and Victor rushes up to him and is like "Oh gosh what's wrong who hurt you"
> 
> And Yuuri is just like "Why do even want to stay with me? I'm no good..." And rambles about his fear and self-doubt and this is the result.
> 
> (I'm too lazy to write all of that sorry)

“Yuri. Do you remember what I said when I told you why I chose you? I said It was because when you skated, it was like the music is already inside you and you’re losing your body to release it. To put it more simply than I had before, I chose you because I fell in love with your skating.”

Yuri looked up, speechless when meeting Victor’s eyes, which were intense and serious, and darker than he had ever seen before. He opened his mouth to speak, but Victor cut him off.

“When I came to Hatsetsu to coach you, I saw something that I didn’t see before. I saw you, Yuri. I saw your passion, your dedication, your strength, your love, your kindness. I saw all of this and not long afterward, not only did I fall in love with your skating, I fell in love with you. And no matter what, you shined on me like the sun, and for the life of me I couldn’t, no, I can’t live without you. And please believe me when I tell you, that heavens above, I hope you never, ever, retire, so I can stay with you forever, Yuri.”

Yuri’s tear-streaked face was frozen in surprise, mouth hanging open, unable to speak a single syllable. They sat there for a few silent moments, never breaking eye contact. Victor looked away first, sighing slightly, before stating quietly; “Come, Yuri. Your friend Phichit is about to skate and I know how much you want to—!”

Victor’s sentence was cut off aburptly as Yuri quickly mashed his lips against the former’s, intertwining his soft hands into Victor’s hair, locking him into place. The older man stiffened in shock, before melting into the sensation of Yuri before him, wrapping his arms around him, pulling him closer than he had ever done before.

Victor was on fire. He was drowning in the euphoria of Yuri’s lips, electricity zapping down his spine and heat pooling down his chest toward his stomach. He couldn’t breathe, his mind went haywire. He became more confident and nibbled Yuri’s lips, achieving a slight, broken noise from the ravenette that replayed over and over Victor’s mind, inducing him to a hazy excitment, wanting more and more. Yuri opened his mouth to breathe and Victor slid his tounge inside, earning yet another noise which aroused Victor to bliss. 

Oh, Victor was in Nirvana! He explored every nook and cranny of Yuri’s mouth, places he had fantasized about discovering ever since he came close to those kissable, adorable cherry blossom lips. Yuri grazed his nails throughout Victor’s hair, pulling tightly, which resulted in a low sigh deep in his throat. They stayed there for what seemed like hours, playing, teasing. When it seemed like Victor would completely lose himself in the ecstasy, Yuri reluctantly broke the kiss. Looking down, gasping to catch his breath, he let go of Victor’s hair, draping his hands on the former’s shoulders. Panting, eyes glazed, light- headed, Victor stared at Yuri, watching his every gasp.

Yuri looked up again, his amber eyes blazing and half-lidded, his cheeks red, his lips swollen and ruddy from the kiss they shared. ‘Beautiful’ Victor thought, restraining himself from taking more of Yuri. 

“I love you, Victor.” Ah, those words he so longed to hear from this man before him. He said it as it was a fact that couldn’t be hidden any longer from view. And how much the blonde wanted to hear those words again and again was unreal. Yuri untangled himself from Victor’s grasp. “Let’s go get that gold medal now, Coach.” He gazed at Victor before turning around and heading toward the rink, glowing like the stars.

Victor smirked. There was the strength he saw in Yuri in the beginning. He smoothed his hair in an attempt to look presentable and not like he just made out with Yuri freaking Katsuki, and followed the path of cheers and ice, smiling like a fool.


	2. On a silent midnight

He was tired. That’s all there was to feel right now. 

He was tired of all the expectations piling up in him, creating mountains of skepticism which pushed on his chest, attempting to squeeze out all the air in him.

He was tired of all the stings he felt every time someone said that he wasn’t worth the trouble, because he felt like they were right, even though he knew they weren’t.

On the ice, it was easier. There he was at least giving them a reason to hate him. On the ice, he could forget that everyone was waiting for Viktor to leave him. 

Yuri sighed and looked at the time on the nightstand next to his bed. 23:55. It was late. Taking his glasses from off the nightstand, he fumbled to put them on and sat up from the bed. Gazing in the pitch blackness, he kept on thinking.

He wished he was in Hatsetsu right now. The gentle laps of the sea and the songs of the crickets used to comfort him on these kinds of nights.

He wished his dog Viichan was still alive. Yuri missed him, missed the soothing softness of his fur. The ravenette always felt like Viichan was listening to him, his understanding eyes were as is they were trying to console him when he was down.

Tired. So very tired.

Yuuri turned around on his bed, duvet covers and sheet swishing quietly as he felt his way through the darkness, searching for the lamp switch. When finding it, the dim haze of light glowed on, giving him just enough ability to see his surroundings, shadows being cast in every direction, dancing with the light.

He stared at a painting he wasn’t seeing, thoughts running rampant in his mind.

‘ Dummy ’ He thought. Did he seriously think that he was able to prove the people wrong? That he had enough talent and potential to win?

Yuri chuckled bitterly.

Of course no one wanted to see him get the gold, because there were other skaters who deserved it more than him. Who were better than him.

He was just barely scraping by, let alone succeeding.

 

How tired he was.

 

He didn’t even belong in the same rink as these skaters. After all, they weren’t the ones who failed spectacularly at the Grand Prix last year. They weren’t losers.

He was nothing but a fat loser who had the indecency to think that he could stand a chance.  
Hot tears started streaming gently down Yuuri’s cheeks, dripping to the sheets, marking where they fell silently. He brought his fists to his head, tearing at his hair.

How could he think he was a bit special? How could he think that maybe Victor chose to coach him because he was someone that had inspired him? Victor probably just felt sorry for someone like him.

Someone who was so weak. So pathetic.

“Stop it.” Yuri said to himself. But it was in vain, because those thoughts wouldn’t, couldn’t stop from suffocating him.

 

So very tired.

Yuri didn’t remember lifting himself from his bed, didn’t remember opening the snack bar. Yuri didn’t remember what he was eating, what it tasted like. But it didn’t matter. 

Because he was someone that shouldn’t even begin to hope that Victor, amazing Victor would stand being near him. A stupid, arrogant, good-for-nothing, fat idiot who thinks he could be of importance.

So there he sat, eating something that he had no idea what and huddled in himself, hoping to disappear.

Because who in the world wanted him to stay? He wasn’t someone people liked.

 

He didn’t matter.

And he never would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hooo-weee it's a same day update??? 
> 
> I guess!
> 
> Heya folks i'm back. And I bring you this sorry attempt of sadness to commemorate my dedication to show you how much I fail! ;P
> 
> Oh boy get ready for some sad katsudon right now!
> 
> Also; WHAT THE HECK WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE ACTUALLY READING THIS I AM IN SHOCK??? ILY THANK YOU FOR VALIANTLY READING THIS DUMP
> 
> Bye everyone!~
> 
> p.s. This is pretty much based on my experiences. I am absolutely no professional on how anxiety works so if I did something wrong, please don't hesitate to kick me all the way to Siberia and back on it.


	3. On a boring day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a blizzard. And there's also nothing to do.
> 
> Silliness ensues.

"Ugh, there’s nothing on right now!” Yuri huffed in irritation, changing the channels of the TV that flashed different settings of different places. None of them were of interest to him.

“Mm-hm.” Victor just nodded, absent-mindedly scratching Makkachin, his thoughts elsewhere. 

It was a quiet day today. There was a blizzard outside, so Yuri and Victor had to skip practice, which itched at both of them. The inn was sleepy as well, and there was almost no work needing to be done, leaving the two fresh out of stuff to keep them busy.

So there they were, Yuri trying to find something on television, Victor lost in his own world, Makkachin napping, all of them on the same sofa. 

The amber-eyed man sighed and settled down to a rerun of some sort of football match, not even knowing which team was playing against which, until suddenly spoke.

“Say, Yuri. Are you ticklish?” The question surprised Yuri, who abandoned the tv and looked at Victor, who still indifferently gazed at the window, taking up most of the space on the sofa.

Makkachin snorted.

“Well, actually i’m not ticklish at all, to most people’s surprise.” Victor grunted in what seemed like disappointment and said nothing. “Are you ticklish?” Yuri asked.

“No!” The silver-haired man blurted his answer quickly, even before Yuri finished asking. Hmm. That was suspicious. Gently putting the napping Makkachin on the floor, he scooted over a bit to sit next to him. With determination to find out the truth, Yuri leaned in closer, catching Victor’s attention. Victor looked back at him, but he fidgeted a bit. 

“Are you sure? You don’t seem very confident in that statement.” Lifting one brow, he put the older man under his scrutiny, looking in his eyes. Victor didn’t answer, but one scan of his eyes told him what he needed to know.

Because for the first time since he had met him, he saw an expression he never saw before.

He saw true terror in Victor.

Yuri grinned widely, like a predator finally catching his prey. “Aha! You ARE ticklish!” He said triumphantly. Nothing was said for a while, until Victor found his voice, which was small. 

“Don’t you even dare, Yuri.” Victor scrambled to get off the sofa, but it was all for naught.

 

Moments later, everyone in the inn could hear booming laughter, unable to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, good morning everyone! It's snowing right now, so that kinda gave me the idea.
> 
> It's short, but at least it's decently, probably sweet?  
> I have this AU where Victor is very ticklish, and Yuri not at all.
> 
> Anywhoosies, who's excited for the proposal-I mean the next episode tomorrow? I am :>
> 
> Have a lovely day everyone! (I'm surprised there's so much! Thank you!)
> 
> Love, Alina~


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was if he was a phantom, swooping in one night and stealing Viktor’s heart, then vanishing into the world.

“Tch. Viktor, you need to forget about that Japanese pig. He just went up and disappeared after that night, so he’s not into you.” Yuri said as he scrolled through his social media feed, stretching his leg absent-mindedly up to the point where his limbs where vertical. Victor didn’t reply, just drank from his water bottle and skated back to the rink to practice more.

 

The rink was less crowded than usual,with only himself, Mila, Yuri, Georgi and Yakov at the rink, due to the fact that all of them were early-risers. The big windows of the rink let the light of the sunrise flood into the area, making the ice sparkle and gleam. The seagulls on the coast cried their morning calls, waking the slumbering city of St.Petersburg. 

 

Ordinarily, these particular mornings rejuvenated Viktor, making him energetic and ready to seize the day. Now, the morning didn’t matter to him. His mind drifted off, distracting him. He couldn’t focus on his warm-ups, nor his warm-up jumps. Not that it mattered whether or not he payed attention to them anyways. 

 

Viktor landed his jumps skillfully, did his warm-ups with ease. In reality, he could have done these in his sleep. Landing a quad salchow, he did a spin combination and then continued on his exercises and his musings.

 

The morning, the sound of the blades on the ice, the angry yells of Yuri and Mila, all of that was just muffled background noise to him. 

 

He was too preoccupied with his thoughts, his memories.

 

His memories of that banquet. His memories of that Yuuri. 

 

Viktor came back to reality, jumping a triple axel before skating around the rink once and then skated toward the exit. Yakov was there, burning holes with a gaze that Viktor knew was not a good sign. Stopping at the edge, he gave off his signature smile. “Uh-oh. That’s not a happy face now, is it? What did I do wrong?” He leaned on the beam, stooping down to scrape the ice off of his blades.

 

“What you did wrong? I’ll tell you what you did wrong! Your free leg on that spin combination was sloppy, and your triple axel was pathetic. I’ve seen 5 year olds land that cleaner than you have.” Yakov was a good coach, but gosh, he could work on his volume level, Viktor thought.

 “You have something on your mind, Vitya. I know you well enough to know that. What is it?” Yakov glared somberly at the 27 year old, demanding an answer. 

 

Viktor stopped scraping off the snow on his blades, and stood up straight. Running his hands through his hair, he sounded strained a bit while answering, looking up at the ceiling of the ice rink. “I’m just thinking about the new program i’m choreographing for the nationals, Yakov.”   
  
If the coach didn’t buy it, he didn’t press. Grunting, he waved Viktor off. “Well, if you’re not going to tell me, go finish your warm-ups and straighten out your free leg. This time, I want you to make that step sequence perfect. Now shoo.” He looked away, seeing Mila once again lifting up Yuri from the ground, resulting in the indignant roars of the 15 year old, and headed that way. 

 

Viktor watched, but remained silent, smile gone. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t push away the rambling reflections of that night.

____

_Viktor couldn’t tear his eyes away. The skater’s messy hair, his lithe, fluid movements to the dance, was intoxicating. And he was drunk! How on earth can someone this hammered move with such feline grace and confidence?_

 

_Why didn’t he skate like this in the Grand Prix?_

 

_It was painfully obvious that the mysterious skater was better than Yuri in the dance off. Viktor knew it, the crowd knew it, even Yuri himself knew it, which pissed Yuri the heck off._

 

_Viktor was hypnotized in the dance of that skater. Every single time that skater moved, a feeling grew in his gut. Every time that skater rolled his hips, pure seduction in his dance, chills crept down his spine._

 

_Every time that skater looked his way, his amber eyes blazing with determination, Viktor’s heart beat that much faster._

 

_Eventually, Christophe got excited and joined in, bringing in a stripper’s pole (???) and stripping to the bare minimum of clothes, enjoying himself more than he ever had this whole time._

 

_Chris challenged the skater that stole Viktor’s breath away to his own type of dance off, and the skater, being drunk as he was, accepted. Not long after, there he was, wearing nothing but his boxers, socks and that tie, pouring his soul into that dance competition._

 

_No one could look away._

 

_Viktor couldn’t look away._

 

_Viktor didn’t want to look away._

 

_That skater won that dance off as well. Putting on his forgotten shirt and pants, he sauntered up to Viktor, those big eyes glazed and burning._

 

_‘Господи. Что со мной?’  Viktor said to himself, catching his heart beating faster than it ever had._

 

_“Mr. Viktor~” The skater trilled, hiccuping in the end. “My name is Katsuki Yuuri and I challenge you ~hic~ to a dance off as well!”   He stated, pointing  a finger at him, confidence brimming, making him glow. “Well? Do you accept?” He asked, looking Viktor in the eyes, smirk wide._

 

 _For the first time for as long as he could remember, Viktor could feel a real, genuine grin of his own._  
  
“Yes. I do.” He took off his coat, rolled up his sleeves, and followed the lead of his heart’s desire.

 

 

_Viktor never had this much fun in at least twenty years._

_He could hear himself genuinely laughing, feel himself actually smiling. Soon enough, they were pair dancing. Their movements combined, dancing so their rhythms combined._

 

_The Yuuri was beautiful when he danced. He did it with such passion, such love, such life, it left Victor breathless._

 

_Katsuki Yuuri was everything Viktor was not._

 

_And it absolutely enamored him._

 

_Too soon, the dance was over. Panting and giddy, Viktor straightened his hair and walked up to put his coat back on, becoming the image of  etiquette once again, all except for that real smile that could not for the life of him be wiped away._

 

 _All of a sudden, strong, firm arms wrapped around him. It was that Yuuri that captivated Viktor, that gave him that feeling that he had no idea what it meant._  
  
Viktor stilled, looking at the bubbly mess that clung to him. “You know, my family runs a hot spring resort back home, so please come! Since I won the dance-off, you’ll become my coach right?” 

 

 _Those big round brown eyes that were so full of everything Viktor craved looked up at him, smile wide, and his eyes literally sparkled._  
  
His fast-beating heart skipped a beat. 

 

_“Be my coach, Viktor~!” He laughed, hiccuping a bit at his proclamation._

 

_Crap._

 

_Viktor figured out what he was feeling._

 

_He was in love._

 

_________

 

 

“VIkTOR! Are you even doing any of your quads?! Stop zoning out and pay attention to your training!” Yakov shouted, waving his fist in the air, snapping Viktor out his daydreams. He looked at his coach, and proceeded to practice his new program. But he was not into the piece. 

 

He had a sinking feeling in his gut. 

 

After the banquet, the skater, Kastuki Yuuri, disappeared. He wasn’t in his original training rink in Detroit,  nor was he in the Nationals this season. 

 

It was if he was a phantom, swooping in one night and stealing Viktor’s heart, then vanishing into the world. 

 

Viktor had scoured anything on social media that might give him information on where he might be, but nothing popped up. The Yuuri did not have any social media, and he didn’t know who were his friends. 

 

It stabbed him. 

 

The Yuuri was gone, along with the hope of Viktor ever finding him. 

 

Viktor felt like crying.

 

 

He found himself landing a quadruple loop, then a double lutz, followed by a triple flip. 

 

All of a sudden, he knew what he was going to perform in the Nationals.

 

Skating to Yakov with the speed of light, probably scaring Georgi in the process, he slammed on the edge, startling his coach. “Yakov! Could you find me the music ‘Stammi Vicino'?! Or rather ‘Stay Close to Me’?! It’s the song i’m picking!”

 

The silence couldn’t have been any louder. 

 

Yakov stared at Viktor, trying to dissect the reason for picking this piece, and then gave off a long sigh of resignation. “Alright Vitya. But it better be good.”

 

Viktor just simply nodded. Before skating to the locker room entrance to get his notebook and pencil.

 

He knew now what he was going to perform.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey~ 
> 
> So sorry that I didn't post yesterday V_V 
> 
> I was trying to find ideas on what to write, and then episode 10 happened.
> 
> (GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH THEY'RE ACTUALLY ENGAGED. AND YUURI IS THE PLAYBOY THIS WHOLE TIME?!?!?! BE STILL MY HEART)
> 
> Love ya! I really hope that this doesn't suck as much as I think it does. Oh well. :|
> 
> I shall see you later if you're not tired of me *Bows* *falls*


End file.
